February 24, 2010 - kenshinjeff
how to be a geek
There are many types of geeks in existence, physics geeks, math geeks, gamer geeks, tech geeks, and more commonly otakus. Basically there are mild differences between how an otaku and a geek should be, but the generally accepted idea is that most of them are good at what they do, so you might be a foodie geek for all you might know.
Rule 1: Pick something you are really good at. For one, you cannot be a sleeping geek, no matter how good you are at it. Unless you know the scientific differences between sleeping on conventional mattress vs a tempur mattress, AND you can plot it against an actual economic study relating sleeping and sex, then you are a sleeping geek.
Rule 2: You must snigger in contempt if you know someone is wrong. This is very important, you must snigger or blow up in anger, whether it is in front of the person you are humiliating, or inside your head, or when you go home and blog about it. You MUST understand why that someone is wrong, and write an essay of how (or explain of the equivalent) and why that person is wrong.
Rule 2A: If your objective is to be an irritating geek, remember to validate your claim in such a way that your opponent of choice has no way of retaliation. And remember to be smug about it.
Rule 3: Show your love as a geek. Always carry an item which quantifies you as a geek. For example, if you’re a gamer geek, show it with your uber shirts, character key chains, wow lingo, etc. etc.
Important: What you shouldn’t do is, buy a somewhat geeky item, and TOTALLY not know how to use it, and pretend that you are a geek. This will somewhat lower your social status of being a person, which in certain circles, will cast you down to many levels below a geek status. Also, it is very depressing for someone to carry a chocobo keychain, and NOT know what a chocobo is.
Bonus 3A: If you carry an geeky device, make sure you have hacked it to do “additional features”. ie. jailbreaked your iphone to change a theme. Or your pda can replace your car remote, or your psp can use the latest custom firmware, etc, etc.
Rule 4: Have a favourite weekly read
Scientific America, BBC Weekly, WSJ, Sunday Shonen, Dilbert, etc, etc. This way, you can quote intelligent people and still be a fashionable geek.
Rule 5: You must have a stubborn point of view, which can only be validated by an obscure source, which only a fellow geek will understand. For example, IE6 is baddddd.
Rule 6: Pick a god. When I mean god, I mean supreme entity which you will kneel down and call father to if he/she/it ever appears in front of you. ie. Jimmy Choo, Mark Zuckerberg, Sergey Brin, Larry Page, Steve Jobs, Hideo Kojima, Satoru Iwata, Nobuo Uematsu, Neil Gaiman, Stan Lee, Rumiko Takahashi, Akira Toriyama, etc, etc.
Hopefully, these 6 points will aid you in your quest to become the geek of your choice! LOL!